My Pain:
1. The way a dog looks at me after putting him back in his cage at the pound after a walk, knowing in some kind of uncommunicative way that this is most likely the last time we will see eachother
2. The sad way people look at me when asking for money and the moral contemplation I have before just walking by with my head down
3. The homeless, wrapped in blankets that are not warm enough
4. The moment when I again realize that my brother is not coming back
5. The dreams of my past and the wish I have everynight that they will not invade anymore of my thoughts
6. People who try their hardest to make me feel inferior and the realization that for this short time, I am
7. The helplessness I feel when it comes to my father and his pain
8. When I say my prayers at night and cant picture my family's faces because its been so long since Ive seen them
9. My insecurities and my doubts about my future, my life, and my abilities
10. The countless helpless animals that I have to turn my back to
11. Missing my mom and the way she braids my hair
12. Slowly forgetting the sound of my brothers voice
13. The realization that I am now an only child and the lonliness and pressure that comes along with that
14. The fear I have of losing someone else I love and the reality that I know someday it will happen again
15. My inability to change the world, to clear the air of pollution, and make everyone appreciate what a wonderful gift this life is

My Joys:
1. Waking up to warm kitties purring loudly next to me
2. Laughing with my friends
3. The family who loves me, this I know is true
4. Rough kisses on my cheek from a kitten
5. My job, my boss, my knowledge, my ability to participate in this crazy world of science
6. My neighborhood and my apartment
7. Reading in my warm bed lit by flickering candlelight
8. Barnes and Noble
9. Coffee, chocolate, sour cream and chedder potato chips, mountain dew
10. A blue eyed, blue capped boy who makes me smile and whispers "morro moo" in my ear
11. Winter breezes and fall leaves dancing next to me
12. My ipod and my music
13. The feeling I get after being able to buy myself something Ive wanted, with my own money, Ive worked hard for
14. Netflix documentaries
15. The way Arizona smells and the sun feels when it hits your back
16. Getting pictures of the kittens I've fostered grown up and happy
17. A hug from my friends and the luckiness I feel that there are people who like me
18. My clothes, my shoes, my possessions...i am so grateful for the things I have
19. My God and his undying way of never leaving me even when I am pushing him away
20. Walks in the park and the sound of children's laughter
21. Hitting snooze on my alarm clock
22. My green eyes and the way they remind me that I am my mother's child
23. Ethnic food nights, late night movies, exploring new bars...with my girlfriends
24. When I remember my math score on the GRE
25. The sound of a text message
26. Knowing that I have a home in so many places (Arizona, NY, Ohio, Seattle, Oregon, Virginia, United Arab Emirates)
27. TBCE, the cytoskeleton, microtubules, alpha tubulin, cell division, human genetics
28. yoga...
29. My memories and my pictures that can never be taken away from me
30. Waking up every morning thankful for my life