Here is what I said at my Grandma's service on Saturday:

Dear Grandma,

When I was younger, I was always so fascinated that your maiden name was Crow. I remember bragging to friends at school that I was 1/16th native American, even though now I know it is even less than that. It always seemed to me that your maiden name fit you so perfectly; you were so beautiful, so graceful, so elegant, and so strong.

I remember so many memories of my childhood involving you. I remember the ice cream maker you had and how you always kept bon bons in the freezer. You knew me well Grandma, for I am not a “one bon bon” kind of girl so after the other kids would turn away you would sneak me another. I loved the screened in patios you always had and the tree in your backyard that I turned into a drive through taco shop the night we stayed with you when KJ was born. I remember how going to your house was like going to a professional photo shoot, and you would always made all of us girls feel so pretty and so loved. I cherish the memories we had at the cabin; particularly the one time I had the opportunity to visit you without KJ or cousins for a week. You were so creative and thoughtful and I remember searching in the woods for big rocks to decorate with fancy jewels and how you helped me make one for my dad and my mom. I really appreciated that. I remember the tree we planted together in my name and how sometimes we used to leave food out for the raccoons at the cabin, I think you helped me cherish my love for animals and all creatures and that has helped me blossom into the woman I am today. And I remember one time when I was a teenager how you told me that the love for your children is never equal to the love for your husband and how I found that so odd coming from a mother of four, now I hope to remember that as I embark on my new journeys in life. It seems now that my biggest regret was not getting to know you more as a woman and as a friend, instead of always only knowing you as my grandmother. As an adult it has taken me many years to understand the circumstances of my youth and I want to thank you Grandma for always just being there for me despite things that occur during divorce.

And while there are so many memories Grandma that I would have loved to laugh and reminisce with you over, I think I would like to share with you some things that have occurred in my life and our family’s lives since you havent really been with us for awhile. I know that you might not be here physically anymore but something tells me that you will be so happy to finally celebrate all of the wonderful things that have happened with all of us in the last few years. For instance, Dad went back to school and I know how proud that would make you. He is a very hardworking student. And can you believe it? He finally found an angel named Shelly who has brightened all of our lives with laughter, love, and joy. She is an amazing stepmother to KJ and me, we are very blessed. Speaking of KJ Grandma Im sure you have already found out that he is with you now, but I know that he will make this transition easier for you. Uncle Kurt bought a new Harley motorcycle for Savannah and Lizzy, but don’t worry because he is extra safe and made a promise to you and his family that he would never mix the bike with alcohol. I know you would be proud to know how responsible he is as a father, husband, brother, and uncle. Kim and Laura are now grandparents and have the most beautiful home in the desert for the little ones to play at. Laura did such a wonderful job decorating it and at Christmas she put up picture frames wrapped like presents which Im pretty sure she got that idea from you. Keith also got married to his beautiful soulmate Linnie. They recently bought Kim’s old house when he moved, which I know you would have liked since we shared so many family memories there. All of your grandkids are happy and successful. Savannah is doing excellent in school, she is excelling in math and Im still hoping to convince her to go into science but I think she might have a talent for music instead. Krissy is now living in California now too, and she is so wonderfully artistic grandma, that is something Im sure she got from you. Kyle is working as a chef, Rob is working as an engineer out at the nuclear power plant, and Stephanie is working on becoming a nurse someday…something that with all the years of compassion and love you showed us Im sure will help guide her in her new endeavors. As for me, I recently got engaged and I wish you could have met Ektor for he is truly the love of my life.

The day you passed away I sat outside in the beautiful California weather and closed my eyes. I was standing at a pretty busy intersection on campus with hundreds of young college students rushing past me to get to class. But I just stood there, with my eyes closed, oblivious to their hurries. In that moment nothing really seemed to matter. I didn’t care who saw me, or if someone got a little close, all I cared about was feeling the cool breeze go through my hair and the way the sun kissed my skin. I wanted so badly for you to experience what a beautiful day it was on March 16th and how the world was conspiring to make all of its elements in peace for your journey. But I think in our own way, with you sleeping and me dreaming away in California, we both experienced it together.

Of all the memories I have of you, my best memory of all is unfortunately our last memory. I want you to know now that the day I came to visit you in Mayer and we had lunch together is a day I will someday tell my children about when they ask about you. I will tell them how we sat on the porch swing listening to the birds chirp and watching out for wasps. You were so fascinated by the holes in my jeans, I promise you now that it was just a style, im not sloppy, and you loved playing with my earrings and ponytail. You were always a fashion diva grandma, even in your old age. And then the world stood still for a moment, we stopped swinging, the birds fell quiet, and you looked at me. And in that moment your eyes filled with tears and you tried so desperately to tell me something but vocally you could only express the words “I cant believe…”. And yet I knew Grandma, and I hope now you know I knew what you meant.

I think being born a Swesey means being born genetically programmed to love music. I really loved all the plays and concerts we used to entertain you with or watching the light come to your eyes when Grandpa would perform. But there is one song in particular that I would like to share with you now (play Black Bird, by The Beatles). Despite the fact you are gone, you are still a beautiful, graceful, elegant, and strong…just like your maiden name. I hope you know how much you are loved, missed, and will never be forgotten.

Preparation of her picture collage. That is my cousin Kristina, we are 3 months apart:


Our finished product:


Reading my letter to Grandma:


The crowd that I had to get up in front of. Im practicing my public speaking skills:


Dad LOVED my talk:

Some Sweseys:


Porch Swing Pics:



Dad and Uncle Kim with their babysitter:


A porch swing is in our retirement plan: