1.You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. (i have recently discovered this when trying to describe I lived in Queens)
2.You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. (only when a tourist is in town)
3.You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. (so true)
4.Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
5.The subway makes sense. (more than the freeways of southern cal)
6.You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
7.You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple". (hahahaha)
8.The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
9.You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.
10.You consider Westchester "upstate". (most definitely)
11.You think Central Park is "nature." (where else can you see a black squirrel, i challenge you to that!)
12.You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.
13.You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it’s a "steal." (no a true new yorker knows how to find steals in other boroughs too)
14.You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times. (or have someone pick me up)
15.You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.
16.You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.
17.You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.
18.Your closet is filled with black clothes.
19.You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you. ( i still have to sleep with the fan on just to get some type of sound when trying to fall asleep)
20.You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.
21.You take fashion seriously.
22.Being truly alone makes you nervous.
23.You have 27 different menus next to your telephone. (when i first moved to irvine, i picked up a menu at the first pizzeria I ate at, its the only one I have)
24.Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."
25.America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.
26.You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form. (in california the cars actually stop when you are waiting in the turn lane to cross, creepy!)
27.You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.
28.Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
29.$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
30.You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
31.You don't notice sirens anymore. (definitely not from working at a hospital)
32.You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.
33.Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian. (i really love NY, this is soo true)
34.You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you. (haha)
35.You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.
36.You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price. (NO! and i dont know anybody who does)
37.Your door has more than three locks. (in the bronx i had 4)
38.Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.
39.You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
40.You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection. (i need to get out of the habit of this)
41.You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.
42.You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.
43.You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.
44.There is no North and South...
45.It's uptown or downtown. (so true)
46.When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.
47.You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.
48.You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve. (never that stupid to try that)
49.Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.
50.You know what a bodega is.
51.You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats. (i can do the same for any book or paper)
52.Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....
53.You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas (#1 way to spot a tourist on the subway)
54.Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. (only ektor gets excited for them)
55. People from other states cant tell a polar bear from a peanut, but they know you're from NY the second you open your mouth.
56. When you are able to make a right turn at a red light.. you think it's the best thing ever.
57. Rather than waiting safely on the sidewalk to cross the street, you wait inches away from speeding traffic waiting to cut through it. (im in a hurry!)
58. Your local news is national news.
59. You walk a mile in 13 minutes and think that everything should be open 24/7.
60. You know who Dr. Z is...(hahaha! YES, unfortunately)
61. You think you know better than everyone else in the world.. when in reality.. well.. you do.
62. Yellow light means speed up.
63. Red light means speed up because you know have that 1 second pause until the other light turns green.
64. Communicating with people on the road only takes one finger.
65. You order your dinner and have it delivered.. from the place across the street. (its cold outside!)
66. You cross the street on a greenlight, and if you get hit by a car you blame the driver for "not watching where they're going.
67. You can tell a gunshot from a firecracker and not get scared, but when you go to the burbs you get scared of hearing a cricket.
68. You know the lights above the skyscrapers is the closest thing we have to stars.
In my heart and mind, I will always be a New Yorker
2.You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. (only when a tourist is in town)
3.You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. (so true)
4.Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
5.The subway makes sense. (more than the freeways of southern cal)
6.You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
7.You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple". (hahahaha)
8.The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
9.You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.
10.You consider Westchester "upstate". (most definitely)
11.You think Central Park is "nature." (where else can you see a black squirrel, i challenge you to that!)
12.You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.
13.You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it’s a "steal." (no a true new yorker knows how to find steals in other boroughs too)
14.You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times. (or have someone pick me up)
15.You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.
16.You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.
17.You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.
18.Your closet is filled with black clothes.
19.You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you. ( i still have to sleep with the fan on just to get some type of sound when trying to fall asleep)
20.You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.
21.You take fashion seriously.
22.Being truly alone makes you nervous.
23.You have 27 different menus next to your telephone. (when i first moved to irvine, i picked up a menu at the first pizzeria I ate at, its the only one I have)
24.Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."
25.America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.
26.You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form. (in california the cars actually stop when you are waiting in the turn lane to cross, creepy!)
27.You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.
28.Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
29.$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
30.You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
31.You don't notice sirens anymore. (definitely not from working at a hospital)
32.You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.
33.Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian. (i really love NY, this is soo true)
34.You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you. (haha)
35.You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.
36.You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price. (NO! and i dont know anybody who does)
37.Your door has more than three locks. (in the bronx i had 4)
38.Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.
39.You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
40.You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection. (i need to get out of the habit of this)
41.You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.
42.You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.
43.You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.
44.There is no North and South...
45.It's uptown or downtown. (so true)
46.When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.
47.You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.
48.You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve. (never that stupid to try that)
49.Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.
50.You know what a bodega is.
51.You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats. (i can do the same for any book or paper)
52.Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....
53.You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas (#1 way to spot a tourist on the subway)
54.Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. (only ektor gets excited for them)
55. People from other states cant tell a polar bear from a peanut, but they know you're from NY the second you open your mouth.
56. When you are able to make a right turn at a red light.. you think it's the best thing ever.
57. Rather than waiting safely on the sidewalk to cross the street, you wait inches away from speeding traffic waiting to cut through it. (im in a hurry!)
58. Your local news is national news.
59. You walk a mile in 13 minutes and think that everything should be open 24/7.
60. You know who Dr. Z is...(hahaha! YES, unfortunately)
61. You think you know better than everyone else in the world.. when in reality.. well.. you do.
62. Yellow light means speed up.
63. Red light means speed up because you know have that 1 second pause until the other light turns green.
64. Communicating with people on the road only takes one finger.
65. You order your dinner and have it delivered.. from the place across the street. (its cold outside!)
66. You cross the street on a greenlight, and if you get hit by a car you blame the driver for "not watching where they're going.
67. You can tell a gunshot from a firecracker and not get scared, but when you go to the burbs you get scared of hearing a cricket.
68. You know the lights above the skyscrapers is the closest thing we have to stars.
In my heart and mind, I will always be a New Yorker
2 comments:
I think you're more of a New Yorker than an Arizona girl! Well, maybe a little bit of country, a little bit of rock and roll :-)
(Do you even know that song?)
one more addition:
when someone walks in the subway, or on the street and says good-morning out loud you know they want to:
-beg for money
-attack/rape you
-stab you if they are not white Caucasian
I think the movie Borat said enough about NY
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